We're starting a new feature today about peacefully co-existing with Dallas called "The Evil Eye."
It's going to happen eventually.
Eventually, some little popped-collar boy or "juicy" apparel-wearing girl you've kind of got a thing for is going to drag away from the comfy confines of the outside patio at Fred's Cafe by begging you to go club-hopping in the West End, or bar-bouncing on lower Greenville.
Don't fear. We here at the FWthian have a remedy! And, it comes in only a few simple steps:
1. Break up with the previously mentioned boy or girl. They're no good for you, and a life with them just means a life in Dallas.
2. That feels better, doesn't it? Now, call your closest friend at the Fwthian and see if he or she still wants to go see that movie Once at the Angelika he or she keep raving about as "Like Garden State, if Garden State didn't make me feel dumber for watching it."
3. Now, this is important. If you are not taking the train, you must bitch about traffic the entire way in to Dallas. Start tightening your knuckles around the steering wheel when you get to Arlington, but save the grade A, "I see you asshole!" stuff for when those ominous barriers show up around Grand Prairie.
4. Find a place to park and enjoy the movie. By this time you've realized that you're not coming back to Dallas for at least another month, so go ahead and make a day of it. We won't fault you.
5. Stay and see this old gangster movie called Mafioso. If two movies isn't your style, pop over to Greenville (sigh) to Good Records and get the latest CD by Battles or that Midlake EP you've been dying to hear.
6. Return home. Remember to bitch about traffic! and shudder at the sight of Reunion Tower!
Once and Mafioso are playing all this week at the Angelika Film Center
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The evil eye: The Fort Worthian's guide to Dallas
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4 comments:
I like this post. And I agree with it. But you left out an important part of the bitching about traffic: the fist shake. And saying "I shake my fist at you, Dallas!"
Yeah, I drive to/from Dallas every weekday morning/afternoon because I have an internship out there. It's definitely not my favorite two and a half hours of the day.
This is a bit ancillary to the post, but you mentioned Battles--I'm really digging them right now. Not being able to understand a damn lyric has been a real selling point for me. And thanks for the Panda Bear recommendation--I've had "Bros" on repeat for many moons.
I pretty much love Battles! Especially that song with the vocoder voice and the big drums...oh, wait... Seriously, though, I love that CD.
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